I would like to take this opportunity to wish you a happy Thanksgiving – the hunters’ holiday.

Why, you ask, do I refer to Thanksgiving as the hunters’ holiday?  Elementary, my dear Watsonian-type person!  None of the other holidays apply, except maybe the opening day of pheasant season, but that’s only a holiday on the state level…I think.

Allow me to explain.  The pilgrims who came to this land were used to hardships.  Most of them were able to do many things because at that time it was necessary to have myriad abilities in order to survive.  They were not able to run to the yellow pages to get the goods and services they required.  After all, there were no phones then so the only thing the yellow pages were good for was as booster chairs for little kids.

These people were their own grocers and butchers, tailors and blacksmiths; corporate lawyers and nuclear physicists, investment bankers and…well, you get the idea.  The needs they had they filled on their own or went without.  Obviously, when they got to this new land, they didn’t run right over to the store to pick up some fresh produce, a nice roast and a video to watch after dinner.  NO!  They bought Manhattan for a box of odds and ends worth $24.00[1], but they couldn’t get anything to eat there for another 6 or 7 years so that didn’t help them much.  And they didn’t run out and start harvesting those amber waves of grain, either, because before they got here no one had planted any amber wave grain, which I believe came much later – from Russia…I think.

What they did do when they got to this new land was run out and start Christmas shopping.  After all, it was already the middle of December before they even got off the Mayflower.  They had to unpack from the move, find the Christmas lights and the wrapping paper and those plastic yard Santas they had stored away.  It was a busy time.  But then, we’re not talking about Christmas yet.  We’re talking about Thanksgiving and whatever we can tie in with it.

Now, these English people from the Netherlands (it’s a long story) were ill prepared for the conditions that awaited them at Plymouth.  This was, in part, due to the limited supplies they were carrying.  It also had a great deal to do with the fact that they were supposed to land somewhere in Virginia where the weather is a bit more hospitable than it is in Massachusetts.  One reason for this error was the maps they were supplied with at the time.  If you look at a map of New England, you’ll see all sorts of roads running to the coast from the west, but very few, if any, from the east.  You can’t blame them for being off course a bit.  Besides, there was no one standing on the shore looking out to sea, saying:

“I’m getting worried, Tonto.  They should have been here by now.”

The point I was trying to pin down here is that there were no crops to harvest when the Mayflower landed and no native plantlife to use for food in December.  Their survival depended on their ability to hunt.  This ability probably wasn’t all that great since about half of them didn’t make it through the unusually mild New England winter.  The reasons for the somewhat high mortality rate at the time, however, may have been something besides the hunting skills of the colonists.  Actual dangers such as disease, exposure to the elements or improperly prepared Japanese blowfish, for example.  The optimistic view would be that the hunters of the group kept the other half of the people alive through the winter and until they saw a return on their crops.

Of course, Thanksgiving could really be the farmers holiday because the harvest was fairly good the following year – actually, percentage-wise, it was a lot better than the previous year, since there wasn’t actually a harvest the year before because they weren’t even THERE yet.  This is where the government agricultural statistics began the reputation for unfailing exactness:

“The harvest looks to be a bit better this year.”

“Well, when we got here last winter we picked three frozen strawberries that the birds hadn’t gotten, an ear of corn and some pine bark.  That gives us an increase over last year of 43,479,000 percent.”

“Yep, a little better.”

It could, however. Be argued that Thanksgiving is the fisherman’s holiday.  One of the reasons for the success of the harvest was the method of planting corn, taught to the pilgrims by the Native Americans.  This entailed dropping a fish into the ground with the seeds when planting.  The nutrients from the breakdown of the fish served as fertilizer and thereby greatly increased the growth of the plants.  Unfortunately, this must be the method still used today for growing zucchini, which is why anybody with a garden and one zucchini plant is always trying to get rid of the stuff by doing things like giving it to strangers on the street or making up wonderful, innovative recipe’s such as zucchini cake or zucchini ice cream or zucchini chocolate topping…

Then again, Thanksgiving could actually be the Native Americans’ holiday since they were there to help the pilgrims survive the new wilderness.  As a matter of fact, the two Indians who primarily helped the early colonists had once been held captive by English-speaking people, which is why they knew a little of the language in the first place…and they STILL helped them.  Obviously they hadn’t been around much and didn’t see what was coming.

Come the think of it, Native Americans may not really want to be reminded that this holiday is in large part due to them.  I know I wouldn’t.

Today, the holiday we celebrate on the fourth Thursday of the month – or the third Thursday after the fourth Wednesday – or the last Thurs…  Anyway, we celebrate the holiday, which was decreed on November 26, 1789 by President George Washington.  It’s easy to see that this was early in our nations’ history or the holiday would be held on a Monday.

The very first Thanksgiving, however, was declared by William Bradford, the governor of the Plymouth colony, in the fall of 1621.  He felt it would be good for morale and increase production values.  Oh, sure!  He said it was a time set aside to give thanks for their survival and the gathering of the bountiful harvest, but he knew the result he was looking for because every night, after everyone else had gone to bed, he would sit in his cabin and listen to motivational tapes by candlelight…I think.

Anyway, the rest of the settlers were thankful for their survival and all they had been given before winter set in again.  So they set aside three days (Yes, three whole days.  Those ancestor-folk took everything very seriously.)  and invited the neighboring Native Americans to a first-class, early American celebration.  They had the traditional pumpkin pies, corn and other dishes made from native plants, which the Indians had taught them to grow.

In truth, Thanksgiving was and is a holiday for everyone of all faiths and beliefs.  A time to gather together friends and relatives and let them know you are thankful both for them and for what you have.

But you know, the main course served at that first Thanksgiving was wild turkey and venison.  I think that gives the hunters just a little bit of an edge.

Happy Thanksgiving.

[1] At this point I would like to alert you to the fact that this is not actually the group of pilgrims who bought the island of Manhattan from the Native Americans who were there at the time.  I inserted this part for artistic license.  I an allowed to do this because I carry a Federal artistic license from the Bureau of Literary Questionability;  lic. # 6Q4R2D2!@B, Class 3C